i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
