Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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