the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
