saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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