I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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