i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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