I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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