you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
