There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
