There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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