have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
