i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
