I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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