I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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