that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize