Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
