I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
