This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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