I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
