I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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