wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
