nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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