that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
