he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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