I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize