no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
