just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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