So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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