i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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