I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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