if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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