dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
