I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
