break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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