Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
