I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
