I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
