i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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