You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Houston, we have a blender
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Alive.
So much puke
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
