well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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