She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
