Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
