two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
