god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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