Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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