Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
