Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
