How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
