three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it's great music for shaving your balls
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
