Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize