so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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