We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
