so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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