dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
