i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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