so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
