I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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