No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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